Best of Shakespeare(:

1. First Day of Final Presentations- The description of Brooke’s Pigs Feet and Apples from Miss Perkins. “Brooke, I don’t know if I can eat this.. It looks like ...!” Then proceeding to walk around the class to show everyone what was meant by it.
2. Story Time- When we were sharing some of our laugh until we cried moments and Katie was telling about the time she “threw a fart”, and the entire class was crying.
3. I Like Shakespeare- I took Shakespeare hoping that I would learn more about one of the greatest playwrights of all time.  I not only learned more about the time period and Shakespeare, but I also learned that I really enjoy his works.  Shakespeare is an amazingly talented man and this class has made me want to continue to learn about the time period.
4. Boys Are Perverts- “Tupping the white ewe.” “Do we get to see BOOBS in this movie?!” And the list continues on, and on, and on! They may be super gross, but it’s entertaining to listen to… Most of the time.
5. Principal’s Sons Need Lovin’ Too- Well, it’s pretty self-explanatory, but it was super hilarious!
6. Miss Perkins Is A Rock Star- We all came into Shakespeare not knowing what it would be like because we had a new teacher, but it is definitely all we thought it would be.  It was my favorite class of the semester because everything was fun and none of us took it too seriously.  
7. Dirty Man- Shakespeare was a foul-minded man! There’s really no nice way to put it, and all of his plays we read involved sexual innuendos.  It kept everything very interesting, though.
8. Blogging Is Enjoyable- I have never blogged before, but this semester has shown me that it can be lots of fun.  It has really grown on me.  Maybe when I go to college I’ll make an advice blog! See, now I’m blogging about my blogging ideas! YAY!
9. Shakespeare Projects Are The Bomb- I loved all the projects we got to do throughout the semester! They were all so much fun, even if they were all pretty small, I still loved spending time making them all sorts of fun!
10. Recitations…- Well, it was a little nerve-wracking, but once it was all said and done it wasn’t as bad as I had initially thought.  Learning it was actually fairly easy, and dressing up was uber fun.
11. I Can Draw- Before I started my final project, I was a little nervous about drawing all of my costumes, but once I got into it, I realized that I am actually better at it than I ever would have thought.  Thankfully.(:
12. Random Dance Parties Liven Up Class- Internet strobe lights and electronic music may not make us all dance, but it sure gets us up and laughing.  Maybe one day when we aren’t “too cool” we’ll all come out of our shells and dance.
13.  Movie Days- They were always really relaxing and they helped to make the books come alive in my mind. Also, on some occasions, they were good nap days… In Riley’s case, every time.
14. I Was Nervous- The first day of class, I wasn’t sure what to expect because I had never had a brand new teacher, but my nerves were quickly calmed since everything seemed like it would be fantastic! Minus that day when we were told we would have recitations, ha!  
15. Every Day Was An Adventure- Whether it was a day where the boys who always read, but didn’t do well at it, had parts or a journal day, there were never dull moments… EVER.
16. Elizabethan Food- … Not good.  They may have used tremendous amounts of sugar, but that definitely doesn’t always make food taste good.  They also could have tried to make things a little bit softer!
17. Facebook Friending- NO, being friends on Facebook with one of your teachers is NOT okay.  Life will proceed and everything will be fine if you want to believe that it is vital to your existence to be Miss Perkins’s friend on the web.
18. I’m Going To Miss The All Senior Class- In the fine words of Miss Perkins… “Sophomores hurt my soul.” Don’t get me wrong, I understand that they want classes to be mixed with students from different grades, but juniors and seniors are the only way to go.  Sophomores are just glorified freshmen.

The Indecisive Mind of Ruby...

Elsinore’s Plummet

                Prince Hamlet thought things couldn’t get any worse after his father’s death, but that is definitely not this young man’s case.  Betrayal, love, and insanity are just a few of the things he’s facing in his life recently.  Quickly preceding his father’s death, his mother decided to get remarried… To his uncle! Hamlet then started showing signs of schizophrenia, where he apparently saw his father who told him how he really died.  Claudius was the King’s executioner!  Hamlet was in a state of depression then, but now that he knows how his father really died, his anger cannot be contained and all he wants is revenge.   Along with his recent discoveries, Hamlet’s love with Ophelia is going downhill.  Ophelia’s father and brother are said to have convinced her that “men are nothing but a long road with no destination”, and she is one to follow the rules set out for her.  Polonius, Ophelia’s father, and his nosy tendencies convinced Ophelia to return all of the gifts she received from Hamlet.  Hamlet reportedly became violent and almost hurt Ophelia.  All of this is pushing Hamlet off the deep end, and it’s deeper than most.  His insanity caused him to become extremely vicious and kill Polonius for listening in on a conversation.  Ophelia joined Hamlet on the crazy train because of her father’s death and she has shown no signs of coming back.  As for revenge for Polonius’s death, Laertes, Ophelia’s brother, is in it for the long haul, and once he finds out who killed his father, he will get down to business.  King Claudius is fearful of what Hamlet is going to do to him for killing his father, so Hamlet was sent off to England.  Unto his knowledge, Hamlet is on his way to be killed.  On his death parade Prince Hamlet was captured by pirates and is now on a voyage back to Denmark.  Waiting for revenge will be Laertes, who was informed of his father’s murderer by Claudius.  Only those two men know the outcome of the plans they have plotted. 

Christmas Wishes

Dear... Wait, who am I kidding, Santa's not real!

To Whom It May Concern,

I want the following things for Christmas, if you cannot gift all of them to me.. I guess I understand, but please seriously consider everything on this list so I'm not disappointed like I was when Santa wasn't real. That was a real bummer.

Read Carefully!

1. Camera- I want to capture moments and share them with other people.

2. My whole family together- We have always celebrated Christmas together, and I want it to stay that way for as long as possible because I like it that way.(:

3. My Best Friend- I miss her and seeing her and my little nephew would make me happier than ever.  Our friendship is definitely something special.

4. Santa to be real- How awesome would it be if some guy in a red suit flew around in a sleigh guided by reindeer and the sleigh was full of gifts?! Also, the gifts were made by elves.. Pretty boss if you ask me.

5. End to poverty- There's enough wealth in the world to share with everyone.  I just wish that everyone could go through the day not wondering when they're going to have their next meal.

6. Enough money to pay for college- The thought of wracking up tremendous amounts of debt while I have a minimum wage job makes me want to cry.  I just want to not have to worry about it.

7. Everyone to be happy- Seeing people hurt is so hard for me.  I just wish that there was nothing in the world that would make people upset.

8. An interesting wardrobe- I have always wanted to be really outgoing when it comes to clothes, but I haven't gotten the money or the guts quite yet..

9. All my music back- Because iTunes lies and I lost all my music on my iPod.. I miss it. Life without the Spice Girls is not the same.

10. A unicorn PillowPet- Those things are SO sweet! It would make basically complete my life.

11. Everything in life to be perfect- Sometimes things just get hard and if everything was perfect, I would never have to worry about it.(:

12. A vacation- Winter sucks. A beach, the ocean, and some sun would do just fine. No where specific, it just needs those three things.

Sincerely,

Ruby Pauli, a high school senior

P.S. You should really work on the Santa thing, because millions of kids die a little inside when they find out he's not real.

The Possibilities of Life and Death...

To be cognizant or not to be cognizant, that is my uncertainty:
Maybe it is more logical to continue to endure
The guns and bullets of this dreadful existence
Or to take matters into my own hands,
And put an end to it all.  To perish- to slumber-
No more; and by a slumber to say we halt
The suffering, and the challenges
That we must face.  This death
Is something to be desired.  To perish- to slumber.
To slumber- possibly to dream: But that's my hold-up!
When in the slumber of death our dreams are no more.
When our existence sustains no more in this life,
We need to reconsider.  There must be explanation
For why life's obstacles are so difficult.
People who would brunt the deceits of time,
The dictator's wrong, the cocky man's embarrassment,
The suffering of unwanted love, the law's slowing,
The sass of the administrators, and the disapproval
That waiting for benefits of the dishonored takes,
When a person may take their own life
With a piercing dagger?  Who would this act impact,
To persist through this pitiful life,
But there are also the doubts after nonexistence
The unknown world, with barriers
No visitors reappear- Bewilders all,
And makes us face the fears we possess
Rather than experience the ones we do not contact?
Hence our inner voice does create weaklings of everyone
And the natural tone of boldness
Is made pale by over thinking,
And danger of strength and caliber
With this instance their hearts chance course
And choose not to exercise this- Now hush!
Beautiful Ophelia!- Angelic woman, in your prayers
Please forgive my wrongs.

Thanksgiving Weekend Stew! - (Best in Winter.)

Ingredients:

1 sister home for the holiday

1 kitchen to make pies

1 friend going through a though time and is in need of some ice cream

3 people there to comfort her, and a Michael

1 morning of waking up at 8:30 to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

1 turkey in the oven with the smell lingering throughout the house

4 pies for everyone to enjoy

Approximately 8 side dishes to add to the holiday meal

7 extra guests to share the terrific day with

2 hours of a preparatory nap

3 friends jamming out and gabbing back and forth

1 hour in the car

10 minutes in a hotel and out again

1 hour and 15 minutes of waiting in the FREEZING cold weather to get into Target

10 hours of Black Friday shopping (Good idea? I don’t know!)

1 super-hot, ripped Abercrombie & Fitch model (Yes, model, but apparently all employees there are considered models.) J

5 bags of various items (TOO MANY!)

6 hours of sleep to recuperate in a hotel

1 quick meal at Famous Dave’s to satisfy hunger

1 quick nap because staying up all night drains a person

10 hours of the best sleep EVER!

1 day spent in Bozeman with the mother

3 dozen cookies baked at 325°F

7 friends gathered to demolish said cookies

2 games to pass the time

A few awkward conversation topics

1 horrendous girlfriend to bash on

1 trip to the Skillet to eat breakfast

22 high school seniors and their parents to chop down Christmas trees

8 chain saws

6 trailers to transport trees

1 snowball fight

160 trees for sale

1 PERFECT view of the Crazy Mountains.♥

Directions:

1.       Get one sister home safely to help bake pies for the following day.  Next, put together the three friends and a tall, curly headed male with the one going through a rough time. Carefully stir this mixture with love and compassion, and slowly add ice cream.

2.       Blend the early morning watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade with the smell of the turkey in the oven.  Fold in the sisterly love about 2 hours later.

3.       Slowly pour in 7 guests with the 8 side dishes, including stuffing and potatoes, turkey, and don’t forget the pies.  This concoction will produce a fabulous day.

4.       Dump in the 2 hour nap.

5.       Next, mix in the 1 hour car ride, 3 friends, and some crazy times for Black Friday.

6.       Combine 10 hours of shopping, 1 SUPER sexy Abercrombie & Fitch model, a few stupid thoughts shared, 1:15 of waiting in line, too many bags, and all the fun in the world.

7.       Mix in 6 hours of recuperation, a meal from Dave’s, a nap, and 10 more hours of sleep to make sure sleeping patterns go back to normal before returning to school on Monday (BOOOO!). 

8.       Throw in spending a day in Bozeman with the mother and getting some Christmas gifts.

9.       Chuck in 3 dozen cookies, 7 friends, 2 board games, and a bundle of entertainment from conversation and outcomes of board games (it will look chunky due to ingredients).

10.    Gather 22 seniors and parents, 8 chain saws, 6 trailers, 1 snowball fight, 160 trees, and 1 perfect view of the Crazy Mountains to sift together in a large bowl to complete stew.

Total Cooking Time: 3.5 days

Temperature: Whatever bakes your potion evenly. 

Patient Analysis for Pauli, Rebekah

Name:  Pauli, Rebekah Rose
Age:  15 Years
Occupation: High School Sophomore

This child seems to be in a state of inevitable depression.  She talks about how no one understands what she is going through.  All the friends she seemed to have just up and left because they wanted to do things their way and didn't care about leaving her in the dust.  She explains that it happened in the middle of the first semester.  She really isn't sure how all of it happened, but it all hit her at once, and nothing seemed to make it better.  The only person she feels like she can turn to is thousands of miles away, and most of the time that isn't enough.  She goes home and cries over anything and everything that is on her mind.  Even the things that are supposed to be fun for children her age seem like a daunting mountain that she can't climb over.  She says that she goes home on Friday and Saturday nights and sits by herself and reads a book or watches TV.  This does not seem like typical behavior for her.  She seems to be outgoing and would rather hang out with her friends on the weekends than anything, but she said she "obviously doesn't have any".  No one ever asks if she is doing okay, but if anyone ever did ask, she would say everything was "fine".  She says she knows she puts on a mask so that no one knows how much she really hurts on the inside.  From all the information gathered, this child is in a clinical depression, it is not as severe as some, but she needs to be pulled right out of this. The best thing for this patient would be someone who cares and will be there for her when she needs someone to talk to.  She also needs a vacation somewhere she can get away from all of the problems that seem to keep coming back in her life.  On this trip, she will also need to do some serious retail therapy.  Her vacationing destination should be somewhere warm with a beach so she can soak up some rays and enjoy the people who treasure her presence.  This trip should last about 6 days so she has a sufficient amount of time to recover from the months of turmoil she has been enduring. 

Ph.D.

Act III, Scene II: The Love Flip

Hermia- OMG! You liar, you whore… You boyfriend stealer! What did you do, get him to fall in love with you over night?!

[Hermia says yelling.]

Helena- OKAY! Do you not have any reserves? Are you trying to get me to say what you want to hear? You should be ashamed! You’re just mad because you’re fake and short! 

[Helena yells back.]

Hermia-Short, did you just call me short?! I can play this game, too!  I bet Lysander only likes you because you’re tall and he fell out of love with me because I am short and you probably told him lies about me! What did you say? Just tell me. It’s not like I can’t beat you up! 

[Hermia takes a step toward Helena, but pulls back]

Helena- Even though you are really just making fun of me guys, just don’t let that crazy b***h touch me! I’m too ladylike to fight, so keep her away from me! You might think because I am bigger than her that I would fight her, but… Uhm, no!

Hermia- WTF?! She called me short again!

Helena- Hermia, girl, don’t be mad at me. I have always loved you, I have always been there for you and I’ve never done anything to hurt you.  The only thing that I ever did and I know it was wrong, was tell Demetrius that you and Lysander were going to elope. I knew that if I told him he would follow you because he loves you, and then I could follow him.  But when I saw him he was a complete jerk telling me to go away and saying that if I didn’t leave he would kill me.  Since I told you, just let me leave and go home, and I will stop following you. I want to go home.  You know how much I love him and that’s all I want.

Hermia-  Fine, leave. The door is right there. No one is stopping you. GO!

[Helena goes to leave, but stops in her tracks.]

Helena-  Now that I’m leaving, I feel like I’m leaving a piece of me behind.

Hermia- What?! With my boyfriend?

Helena- NO! With Demetrius

[Helena looks frustrated when the men enter.]

Lysander- Helena, babe, don’t be scared of her, she can’t do anything to you.

Demetrius-  Yeah, you’re right, even though you are totally on Hermia's side.

Helena-  You underestimate her, she is completely different when she is mad.  When we were at school, she could be the meanest of all the girls. Small doesn't always mean nice! 

Hermia-  You did it again! You keep calling me little and mean. I’m not about to put up with one more of those comments! That’s it.

[Hermia starts moving toward Helena to beat her up, but the men protect Helena]

Lysander- Just leave you midget.  You’re nothing but garbage, anyway.

Demetrius- You’re way too temperamental, dude! She obviously doesn’t want your help, so just get out of here! If you even think about looking at her, you’re gonna get it, bro!

Lysander- She can’t tell me what to do, so we can both go with her and she can decide!

Demetrius- Both of us?! No way, we’re fighting this one out.

[The men leave]

Hermia- Helena, this is all your fault, you need to get this all figured out before leave.

[Hermia goes after Helena and Helena cowers back.]

Helena- It’s not like I can trust you and I can’t stand this negativity anymore. You might be a better fighter, but my legs definitely move faster than yours!

[Helena leaves]

Hermia- Wow, some friend she is!           

[Helena leaves]

The Preposterous Argument

     As children, everyone loves recess, and Brooke, Jamee, and Ruby were no exception.  One day, in fourth grade, while on the playground for recess, these three girls were enjoying the fresh air.  A game they loved to play was kickball, the kind where you kick it into the air while one team is on one side of the line, and another team across from them.  The rules were simple, your ball got caught, you were out. 
     These three girls decided they would play it a little differently, they were going to have two, who would challenge each other for the ball while the other one threw or kicked the ball into the air and got to enjoy watching the other girls tussle over the ball.  Jamee would be the one who would throw the ball to Brooke and Ruby and see who got it and would be it next. 
     "One... Two.. Three!" Jamee yelled.
     Brooke and Ruby got down and ready for the ball, knees bent and hands in the air, waiting for the quickly approaching kickball that was lobbing through the air.  The ball hit its maximum point and began the decent toward the eager girls.  It was getting closer and closer and Brooke and Ruby were getting more and more competitive. 
     "I GOT IT, I GOT... OUCH!" Ruby said.
     Apparently, Brooke had been ready to either catch the ball or not, her alternate plan was the use of teeth.  The bite was far more vicious than any of the girls had expected.  Ruby was wearing three layers, a shirt, sweatshirt, and also a winter coat.  Brooke's fangs had managed to penetrate all three layers and puncture Ruby's skin on her back.
     Ruby then went inside with the teacher who was on duty to the nurse's office to get checked out.  The nurse had been in her office and was ready for whatever may have happened.  The nurse proceeded to lift up the back of Ruby's shirts to find the flesh wound.
     "OH MY GOD!" Miss Vidack screeched. 
     Obviously, no one thought Brooke's teeth could do that much damage, but she proved them all wrong.  The nurse cleaned up Ruby's battle-wound and sent Ruby back to class when she was finished.  When Ruby returned to class, Brooke was not there.  Ruby was wondering where she had gone, so she said to Jamee, "do you know where Brooke went?"
     Jamee replied, "she got sent to the principal for biting you!"
     Oh no, Ruby thought, but she did it to herself.  Ruby wasn't really sure what was going to happen to Brooke, but hopefully it wasn't anything too bad.
     Brooke soon returned to class and immediately came up to Ruby and said, "Ruby, I am really sorry for biting you."
     "It's fine", Ruby said.
                                                                 *     *     *
     Ruby thought about the incident later as she told her mother what had happened and realized most kids couldn't say their friend had bit them through three layers of clothing while fighting over a kickball, of all things!
     The girls realized that small fights over silly things wouldn't ruin their friendship and were right back in the recess routine the following day.